FARTS IN THE WILD

At our Christmas Eve Christmas party this year, we played THAT game. You know the one, the “steal the gift” game, the “gag gift” game, “the elephant gift” game. This year we had the party at my sister's house. I had asked her prior to the party, if we were going to play that game or was it my imagination (I wasn’t sure if I heard talk about it). She said yes.

Then I totally forgot to tell my wife so we didn't bring gag gifts. My sister, being ever prepared, had extra. So I played. And I came away with a remarkable gift.

FARTS IN THE WILD, a spotter’s guide by H.W. Smeldit (I’m not making this stuff up) – Illustrated by Jared Chapman.

 

This book is fascinating. It is very scientific. It is – simply – a book about animal flatulation.

(SO IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS, I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE)

It starts with Fart Basics. “All fartologists know the basic rule of farting. If it eats … sooner or later, it farts.”  The book goes on to say, “When animals … eat, we swallow air along with our food. Air is made up of gases, mostly oxygen. As we digest and the bacteria in our guts break down that food, the gases produce more gas. In fact, digestion can produce so many different gases you’d practically need a notebook to keep track of them all: nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, methane, dimethyl sulfide, and more.” The book goes on to say, “This stew of gases eventually works its way out …..”

You get the picture.

The book tells us about 10 different animal farts and gives examples.

The attached video gives us a few.

 

So, if you are still reading ……..

Best Buys

This segment is dedicated to really good buys.
One of the best buys I have made in all of my life is a ............................. shoe horn.
That's right, a shoe horn. Not just any shoe horn, but a 99 cent shoe horn.
This thing is made of thick, highly durable plastic. It has lasted for almost 2 years now and still shows no sign of wear.
I use it almost everyday and I just bought a second one to use as a back scratcher.
I could use the same one for a shoe horn and back scratcher, but it was only 99 cents. If it were 1.99, I would have probably opted to use the same one, but 99 cents ............

One of the best buys ...ever.

Retreat, But Never Surrender

RETREAT, BUT NEVER SURRENDER
(Written Dec. 17 and 18, 2012)
At the table, in front of the window, the remarkable distraction of the lake and the powerful serenity of God’s creation, make it almost impossible to put thoughts to pen and pen to paper. It makes me wish I had my tape recorder…press record and just speak. I can’t help but look up from the page every few seconds just to take it all in. Peace, life, hope, refresh, retreat. These are but a few words that enter my mind.
We are in the Bender House – Room 8, at Pine Lake Fellowship Camp (Meridian, MS). This is the PERFECT place for a relaxing getaway. The perfect setting to retreat from life’s ups and downs, hardships, work, anxieties, etc.
It is only fitting that the devotional I am reading this week is based off of Rhett Smith’s book, The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?
Anxiety, in whatever form it comes, is one of the things that many people need a break from. Some, even on a retreat, find it hard to get rid of anxiety. In his book, Smith referred to Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard. He says that “Kierkegaard referred to anxiety as our ‘best teacher’ because of its ability to keep us in a struggle that strives for a solution, rather than opting to forfeit the struggle and slide into a possible depression.”
What make us anxious? For me, it is probably my career. Trust me this is a job that I am so blessed to have, and a position that I have been working toward obtaining. But none the less, I have many responsibilities that affect many people. I have to depend on many people and many functions and parts and plans to make the end result a success. For the record, just because someone is anxious about a job, doesn’t make them a complainer.
Retreating from everyday life and just letting go while in this peaceful place seems easy, but our hectic, fast paced lives are always tugging at our coat tails. I think retreating from the hectic, the stress, the anxiety, the real life is an always needed time in our lives. If you are going through other trials; battles with addictions, medical battles, pain, depression, healing, and personal tugs – of –war, some sort of retreat can be helpful.
I am the type that lets my every day activities creep into my mind often. Even when I am having quiet, reflecting time, I have to fight off thoughts of the day ahead. That is something many people fight.
Retreating and getting away – wherever that may be – helps. We can retreat to a “cabin in the woods” or our own back yards. We can get away by the river, on the swing, or in a quiet place in our homes. Remember, when we retreat, it does not mean we are giving up. It does not mean surrender to the trials we face. When the retreat is over, life keeps going. We have to go back to work and school and life. Anxieties and such will be there. But, after a retreat, you can hit the ground running with a re-charged attitude. When you retreat, whether it be with a loved one or alone, you must take someone with you. Or there is one you must seek and find.
God.
He will always help us not to surrender. He is our anchor. British poet, Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote “Cast tour cares on God; that anchor holds.” In Smith’s book, he wrote “You might be experiencing all kinds of anxiety, worry, and panic. And those feelings might be keeping you captive and holding you back from the abundant life God is calling you to. But I want you to know that God is not finished with us. He has only just begun. And if we take the risk and step out in faith, he is there to guide our anxiety toward a fruitful endeavor in order that we may grow into the person he desires us to become. Anxiety beckons us to not allow our lives to get stuck in a rut. Perhaps anxiety is a paradoxical feeling offered up to us as a gift that propels us to seek after him and to continually grow in the process. Perhaps anxiety is an act of grace because it encourages us to face our fears, so that we can then choose to freely follow God where he is calling us.”
Christmas is one week away (at the time of this writing).
It is a time for Joy, Peace, Hope and Love. But it is also a time of depression and worry. It is a time of angst and concern for many. God gave us the BEST gift many, many years ago. Jesus was born on Christmas Day.
My original note said “Don’t be depressed this Christmas.” But who am I to tell anyone that? But I will write that if you are depressed or feeling nervous for any reason this Christmas season (or any other time), look to God.
Seek Him. Realize His gift to you and me. Hold it. Relish it. Accept it. Love it.
And when we feel life’s pressures, grab that gift, retreat.
But never surrender!

note: the day, after we came back home from our getaway, I went back to work. At 1255 that day, I basically forgot about my relaxing time.
I did recover and God reminded me twice the next day.
I read Proverbs and in Ch. 24 verse 10, it said "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
and later that day a guy was showing me his bible app on his phone, the verse of the day was James 1:12. Look this verse up and you will know what I mean.

You may Be ...

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."

Frank Crane

Sometimes

S O M E T I M E S (note. I borrowed this)

Sometimes...

when you cry....

no one sees your tears.



Sometimes...

when you are in pain.

no one sees your hurt.



Sometimes.

when you are worried..

no one sees your stress
Sometimes..

when you are happy..

no one sees your smile ....



-

-

-
-

But fart just ONE flippin' time....

And everybody knows!!

Future

I have a doctor's appointment today. I like to try to come early. Sometimes they take me early. Before I got to the hospital I got real hungry. So I tried to stop somewhere semi healthy ( did not want to load up on fries an coke before getting blood pressure checked). I ended up at Quiznos. So as I ate I watched this elderly couple. They had to be in their late 80s ( or older). I watched them and just enjoyed what I saw. They were happy. They were together. They were inspiring. I can't lie to you as I watched I just smiled and I felt one of my eyes begin to well up. ( Christina Perri's song Arms played in the background and it added to the scene in front of me). As the couple finished their lunch, just like he probably did for many years, the gentleman picked up the ladies tray. He held the door for her and of course opened the car door for her ( by the way. They got into a brand new Red Ford Fusion). I finished my lunch and thought about my own future with my beautiful wife. When we are that age, And I take her to lunch, hopefully we can be an inspiration to others. ( for the record. There are many couples who inspire me - my parents and many others).

Another Remedy for Hiccups?

I came across another remedy for Hiccups.





Awhile back, I blogged about a remedy for hiccups.

See the link from my archives (2009) ...

I must say, I thought it was a decent read...
http://copiouscogitations.blogspot.com/2009/02/laundry-list.html

Today I came across another cure ....I will be sure to try it next time I get the hiccups....

I got it off of the always informative Old Farmer's almanac Calendar...

It says..... "HICCUP CURE ... Rub an earlobe between your thumb and forefinger."

We will see if it works ...until them Hiccup

Hebrew

Last week we went to the store. A brew with the word MESSIAH caught our eyes.

After looking at one of the bottles, it was a must buy.

Shmaltz Brewing Company's Hebrew Brewing (Saratoga Springs, NY) brews their Messiah Nut Brown Ale.

Sometime a catchy name or slogan doesn't always equal a tasty product. But Shmaltz does a fine job backing up their packaging with a nice product.

The packaging:

The bottle is cool. It catches the eye in its Hebrew label. The label almost forces you to read it in it's entirety.

This is a quote from the bottle. "Why is this beer different from all other beers? As commanded, we at Hebrew Beer have been fruitful and multiplied our offerings. Tradition teaches that the Messiah's name is Shalom - Peace. With your first sip of this rich, dark, and delicious libation, we hope to offer a momentary taste of microbrewed bliss. If you feel the sudden urge to beat your swords into the ploughshares (Isaiah 2:4) or to picnic with the lion and the lamb (Isaiah 11:6) ... Rejoice! Now, our award - winning brewers can't claim supernatural powers - simply a fanatical commitment to brewing world-class beers: A truly scrumptious mitzvah (good deed)! May your cups runneth over with the blessings of great beer and great shtick. To Life ... L'Chaim!"

The product:

This is a simple but complex brew. It is one of the best Nut Browns I have tried.

The brew is made with Specialty 2 row, Carapils, Dark Crystal, Chocalate, CaraMunich 60 and Kiln Amber Malts. It is also brewed with Warrior, Cascade and Liberty Hops.

Check it out.

http://www.shmaltzbrewing.com

A Mostly true Story

A mostly true story.

(95% of this tale is true)

One of my co workers had an out patient procedure. The
result was his doctor telling him he may have to stop consuming certain foods.
Here is the conversation.

Co worker (cw): the
doctor told me I have to stop drinking beer.

Me: why is that?

Cw: I may have to stop eating things with processed type
things. Certain processed wheat and grains and stuff. The additives they put in
beers, etc.

Me: what kind of beer do you drink. I know a few organic
brews.

Cw: I drink bud light.

Me: well that isn't a big loss. But I know a couple of beers
with all natural ingredients.

Cw: Like what? natural
light?

The Devil In Sports

The Devil in Sports


Why do we, as fans get so worked up about sports?
This past week has been rough for the locals. LSU loses the
National Championship game and the Saints losing in the NFC playoffs.
We (I’m not speaking for others – but assuming) get worked up
and spin ourselves into a tizzy.
For what? For sports.
There is a fine line between getting worked up and … well,
getting worked up. A fine line between being a fan and a failure. A fine line between
excitement and anger.
Is it ok to get excited?
To get mad or angry when things go wrong. Should we sit back and let it
build inside?
Who knows? I don’t. But I do know that anger and getting close to
tipping that cup can hurt others and lead to things people can regret.
The problem with getting too excited is that the more you get
to the edge of that spectrum, the closer you get to being angry if things don’t
go well. Then the chances of hollering and cussing and getting so stressed – it
can make you bust.
When you have extreme passion in a team – in a sport – that is
ok. But when is it not ok? That passion – in certain events can steadily turn
into anger.
That is why I titled this The Devil In Sports. The devil
wants us to fly off the handle. He wants us to go on a cussing rampage. He
wants us to waste our energy on getting aggravated.
Let’s take the recent Saints game. Up and down emotions. The
Saints take the lead late – they got this. Then they let the other team take
the lead. Stress but excitement. Then the Saints take the lead with a quick TD
strike. We got this. Then out of nowhere, the other team scores with 9 seconds
to go. Even if – in most cases the Saints win, the emotions brought out when
things looked bleak – or when a stupid play happened – everyone feels better.
But can the negative words or thoughts that came out during the bleak times
just go away? No.
So, in sports My emotions have gone to over the top status. If
you are reading this, please don’t think I am a maniac and get pissed off every
time I watch sports, but as a man, as a husband, as a father and as a grandfather,
I am not afraid to admit that I am not the best when my team does bad. Once
when I was a kid, the Dodgers lost to the Cardinals in the NLCS. All I wanted
to do was get my pellet gun and go shoot Cardinals in the woods.
So, to the point of this…
There are so many more important things to spend our Energy
on. I didn’t say time, but energy. In energy I mean the stress we spend on sports.
The excitement will always be there. But like the duck – I will
try to let stuff in sports roll off the back.
When I think of hurts like Baby Tripp. The 2 year old hero
who had Epidermolysis Bullosa. He passed away yesterday.
Kids who go hungry every day. Kids who have no homes. People
who lose in life – lose loved ones, etc. People who succumb to abuses of drugs
and alcohol and hurt their loved ones and themselves.
Families devastated by cancer and other terminal diseases.
Families who are devastated by untimely deaths.
There are so many worthy causes and issues we can stress and spend
time about. Causes and people we can spend our time and energy on.
Sports should not be one of them.
Watching and loving sports will always be a part of the world
and part of me, but the anger and upsetting moments when the favorite team
loses, hopefully won’t be a part of me.
We shall see. I get a little reprieve with hoops. I love
basketball, but don’t seem to get stressed about it as much as LSU and dodger
baseball – or football.
Time will tell, hopefully I…we.. can concentrate on the
important things in life and let a loss or bad play roll off the back.

My Last College Football post of the season

First, I haven't posted much so this may my first.

Alabama - LSU.
1- Face it, the better team won.
2 - Bama defense was a beast.
3 - their offense helped their defense.
4 - LSU defense played good and hard.
5 - LSU defense had to go up against the Bama offense and
it's own offense. The LSU offense hurt our defense Period.
6 - play calling and play in general was terrible.
7 - but with all that said. It is my fault. I wore red
shorts during the game.

See ya next year. But first.... One prediction.

The SEC will win a 7th straight title next year.

From the Old Farmer's Almanac 2012 desk Calendar

"He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age." Plato, Greek philosopher (c.428-348 B.C.)


BEAUTY TIP
To relieve dry, itchy skin, add a cup of apple cider vinegar to your bathwater. Soak for at least 15 minutes.


"We do not remember days, we remember moments. the richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten." Cesare Pavese, Italian writer (1905-1950)

2012

As 2012 begins

I never do resolutions. Maybe when I was a kid. But this year I thought of a few goals. I
probably set goals often but don't often think of them. That's not to say they
don't get accomplished.

So here are some things I want to accomplish in 2012.

Read the bible through this year. My wife and I will do this together. It will be fun
and I am sure much discussion will come of it.

I want to read more period. I love to read but lately I haven't read much. 2011 was
probably my lowest reading output, in terms of # of books.
I don't want to put a number on it but I would like to get over double digits. Low total for
many buy a good start for me.
Some of the books on my hit list: a re-read of Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle, maybe another
one or two KV re-reads; John Grisham's The Confession ( I already started this
in 2011 - I haven't touched it in 3 weeks - it is a great book, I've been busy); Walter Isaacson's
Einstein. I have had this book on my shelf for awhile with every intention to read. I will read it this year; any Ted Dekker novel I haven't read yet; I would like to re- read some classics also - maybe something by
Jules Verne, Hesse or anyone really; I want to read some of the books that my
devotionals come from; Another book on my shelf that I want to read is Myron S.
Augsburger's The Fugitive (Menno Simons).
I need to stop typing and start reading.

I want to do a Bucket list. Just for fun. If I write one I will post it.

I want to Write more. Just write in general. I have so many projects either started on
paper on in my head. I just want to write more and the rest will fall into
place.

I want to be more consistent with blog posts.

I want to be an all around better person.

I want to serve more. Not just serving the less fortunate
but all who need and in whatever way they need. I am so blessed in my life and
I don't think I do what the Lord wants me to from a service standpoint.

I want to communicate better in an all around way.

I want to relax more. Maybe with more reading and more
writing that will happen. I want to take at least one nap a month.

I want to love and take care of my family more. That should
be a goal for everyone.

I probably have many more things I want to accomplish in
2012 but if I don't stop typing I won't accomplish anything.

So happy New Year and Merry Christmas. Jesus was born so
that he could die for us. So everyday is Christmas.