FARTS IN THE WILD

At our Christmas Eve Christmas party this year, we played THAT game. You know the one, the “steal the gift” game, the “gag gift” game, “the elephant gift” game. This year we had the party at my sister's house. I had asked her prior to the party, if we were going to play that game or was it my imagination (I wasn’t sure if I heard talk about it). She said yes.

Then I totally forgot to tell my wife so we didn't bring gag gifts. My sister, being ever prepared, had extra. So I played. And I came away with a remarkable gift.

FARTS IN THE WILD, a spotter’s guide by H.W. Smeldit (I’m not making this stuff up) – Illustrated by Jared Chapman.

 

This book is fascinating. It is very scientific. It is – simply – a book about animal flatulation.

(SO IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS, I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE)

It starts with Fart Basics. “All fartologists know the basic rule of farting. If it eats … sooner or later, it farts.”  The book goes on to say, “When animals … eat, we swallow air along with our food. Air is made up of gases, mostly oxygen. As we digest and the bacteria in our guts break down that food, the gases produce more gas. In fact, digestion can produce so many different gases you’d practically need a notebook to keep track of them all: nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, methane, dimethyl sulfide, and more.” The book goes on to say, “This stew of gases eventually works its way out …..”

You get the picture.

The book tells us about 10 different animal farts and gives examples.

The attached video gives us a few.

 

So, if you are still reading ……..

Best Buys

This segment is dedicated to really good buys.
One of the best buys I have made in all of my life is a ............................. shoe horn.
That's right, a shoe horn. Not just any shoe horn, but a 99 cent shoe horn.
This thing is made of thick, highly durable plastic. It has lasted for almost 2 years now and still shows no sign of wear.
I use it almost everyday and I just bought a second one to use as a back scratcher.
I could use the same one for a shoe horn and back scratcher, but it was only 99 cents. If it were 1.99, I would have probably opted to use the same one, but 99 cents ............

One of the best buys ...ever.

Retreat, But Never Surrender

RETREAT, BUT NEVER SURRENDER
(Written Dec. 17 and 18, 2012)
At the table, in front of the window, the remarkable distraction of the lake and the powerful serenity of God’s creation, make it almost impossible to put thoughts to pen and pen to paper. It makes me wish I had my tape recorder…press record and just speak. I can’t help but look up from the page every few seconds just to take it all in. Peace, life, hope, refresh, retreat. These are but a few words that enter my mind.
We are in the Bender House – Room 8, at Pine Lake Fellowship Camp (Meridian, MS). This is the PERFECT place for a relaxing getaway. The perfect setting to retreat from life’s ups and downs, hardships, work, anxieties, etc.
It is only fitting that the devotional I am reading this week is based off of Rhett Smith’s book, The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?
Anxiety, in whatever form it comes, is one of the things that many people need a break from. Some, even on a retreat, find it hard to get rid of anxiety. In his book, Smith referred to Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard. He says that “Kierkegaard referred to anxiety as our ‘best teacher’ because of its ability to keep us in a struggle that strives for a solution, rather than opting to forfeit the struggle and slide into a possible depression.”
What make us anxious? For me, it is probably my career. Trust me this is a job that I am so blessed to have, and a position that I have been working toward obtaining. But none the less, I have many responsibilities that affect many people. I have to depend on many people and many functions and parts and plans to make the end result a success. For the record, just because someone is anxious about a job, doesn’t make them a complainer.
Retreating from everyday life and just letting go while in this peaceful place seems easy, but our hectic, fast paced lives are always tugging at our coat tails. I think retreating from the hectic, the stress, the anxiety, the real life is an always needed time in our lives. If you are going through other trials; battles with addictions, medical battles, pain, depression, healing, and personal tugs – of –war, some sort of retreat can be helpful.
I am the type that lets my every day activities creep into my mind often. Even when I am having quiet, reflecting time, I have to fight off thoughts of the day ahead. That is something many people fight.
Retreating and getting away – wherever that may be – helps. We can retreat to a “cabin in the woods” or our own back yards. We can get away by the river, on the swing, or in a quiet place in our homes. Remember, when we retreat, it does not mean we are giving up. It does not mean surrender to the trials we face. When the retreat is over, life keeps going. We have to go back to work and school and life. Anxieties and such will be there. But, after a retreat, you can hit the ground running with a re-charged attitude. When you retreat, whether it be with a loved one or alone, you must take someone with you. Or there is one you must seek and find.
God.
He will always help us not to surrender. He is our anchor. British poet, Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote “Cast tour cares on God; that anchor holds.” In Smith’s book, he wrote “You might be experiencing all kinds of anxiety, worry, and panic. And those feelings might be keeping you captive and holding you back from the abundant life God is calling you to. But I want you to know that God is not finished with us. He has only just begun. And if we take the risk and step out in faith, he is there to guide our anxiety toward a fruitful endeavor in order that we may grow into the person he desires us to become. Anxiety beckons us to not allow our lives to get stuck in a rut. Perhaps anxiety is a paradoxical feeling offered up to us as a gift that propels us to seek after him and to continually grow in the process. Perhaps anxiety is an act of grace because it encourages us to face our fears, so that we can then choose to freely follow God where he is calling us.”
Christmas is one week away (at the time of this writing).
It is a time for Joy, Peace, Hope and Love. But it is also a time of depression and worry. It is a time of angst and concern for many. God gave us the BEST gift many, many years ago. Jesus was born on Christmas Day.
My original note said “Don’t be depressed this Christmas.” But who am I to tell anyone that? But I will write that if you are depressed or feeling nervous for any reason this Christmas season (or any other time), look to God.
Seek Him. Realize His gift to you and me. Hold it. Relish it. Accept it. Love it.
And when we feel life’s pressures, grab that gift, retreat.
But never surrender!

note: the day, after we came back home from our getaway, I went back to work. At 1255 that day, I basically forgot about my relaxing time.
I did recover and God reminded me twice the next day.
I read Proverbs and in Ch. 24 verse 10, it said "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
and later that day a guy was showing me his bible app on his phone, the verse of the day was James 1:12. Look this verse up and you will know what I mean.